How did the oil get here?

[SKILMATIC]

I'm pretty sure he means the valve covers (he calls them camshaft covers--which is what they are called sometimes).

The cam caps aka cam cap bearings are only torqued down to 14 lbs. It does not take that much effort at all to get them to come out at all.

Yes I know this but for me cause I am a lightweight it takes me a breaker bar to do so.

Poor starting or misfiring would not put a puddle of oil in the spark plug holes.

Well the thread starter didnt specify the spark plug holes he just said

and I found a TON of oil all around my spark plugs (enough to cover the spark plugs

This could mean where the diode is or where you torque them in which if thats the case then yes a loosevalve cover is what it would be.

If rings had a very poor sealing with cylinders, there would be loss of power due to bad compression, loss of oil due to oil consumptions, and the oil sealing/or lack of would go from the lower part of the pistons to the cylinders and be burned. The oil will not go up the spark plug threads to form a puddle of oil.

Yes I know this as well.

Cylinder wear would be just like worn rings and give off the same signs.
Worn valve guides is not that common on 7M heads.
If it is the vavle stem seals you mean, the oil would go from the head and into the cylinders to be burned off.
With poor valve stem seals, you would have oil come out of the tail pipes upon start up.

Again he just got the car. I am assuming he has never owned one before therefore he wouldnt know if it was missing power or compression or not. IN any means I do agree with you.

All of which you said I am in total agreement with.