No Power To ANYTHING
 

I stuck my key in the ignition a couple of days ago and it worked fine. As soon as I attempted to turn it over.. EVERYTHING died on me. My window is down at the moment and this needs fixed ASAP. I've already replaced my corroded battery cable and checked all of the fuses. I'm assuming it's either the cable to the alternator or one of the relays. Can someone give me a hand? :dunno:

If nothing is working at all, and you are 100% sure the battery is charged and the connections are clean and tight, check the 8 gauge wire that goes from the battery positive terminal to the fusebox behind the battery. That is the wire that feeds everything but the starter. Check the main fuse inside that box as well.

Main fuse is good and there's power to the fuse box. I got the seats to move and the lights to pop up ( I've NO IDEA how I even did that, to be perfectly honest) but as soon as I did that, I turned the key to "On" so I could put my window up and everything died again. I proceeded to check all of the fuses and battery cables and everything seemed to be working properly. I'm gonna check the ignition tomorrow (later today if it doesn't rain). Any other suggestions?

Are you sure the battery is charged. Everything you are describing is a symptom of a weak battery.

Positive :(

If the battery and its wires are good, the wire feeding the fuse box (check it again) is good and all your grounds are good, you are going to have to start checking wires and connectors with a meter or test light until you find something.

Yeah, I started doing that a little last night. Thanks, though.

The only time I have had this (actually 2 times) was starter based..
One.. was dead starter. The solenoid would short out everything.. after about 2 minutes everything would come back.. no idea why, but thats what happened.

The other time was when I had a valve drop in the cylinder.. the starter turned the engine to that point and clicked. Everything died.. but came back to life again.

So.. from my experience, the electrical when it goes out, but comes back on after letting it sit for 1-2 minutes seems to be in the starter circuit. (I would assume a fuse there, but have never seen one)

Dont know if any of this applies to your issues, just relating what I have had happen. (I can replicate this with my 87 any time I want.. lol, as the engine is "broke")

I've had a "mechanic" look at it several times over the past few weeks and he found nothing... I got my uncle to look at it for two hours and he had the problem fixed. I am looking for a new mechanic.

-More to the point. It was apparently a worn spot on the engine ground. I really hadn't been able to get under the car to look at the wiring there.
I had checked everything that I could reach and knew how to, but, as you can see, electrical systems aren't really my area and I wanted a sound opinion.

-From now on, I'll stick to body/engine work :outahere:

Ehh, don't be too pissed at the mechanic. Most shops don't know crap about these cars. That was a simple and common issue though, they should have caught that. Glad you got it sorted out.