It really would help if you didn't add all the expletives when you are asking for help. It interfers with the train of thought and sounds confusing.
You have to make sure you know where TDC is and then point the rotor at the number one plug on the distributor. Then it is 153624. If you have fuel and spark and make sure the cams are timed right you should be able to get it close.
It might also help if you told us what year and model you have too. One of the recent postings has a link to the online manual for the MK111. Your manual should have the setup too. There is more to getting the timing set than just sticking the distributor in and trying to start it.
Let us know and calm down a bit, take a deep breath and try explaining your next steps without swearing. It might make someone who can really help you think it isn't worth it if that is the attitude you have.
Russ
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